You would be surprised, or not, at how many young women have gone through the excruciatingly painful experience of having an
Be blessed
abortion. It’s not so much the procedure that hurts, technology has made it quite painless, but it’s the havoc it wreaks to one’s emotions and spirit that make it so. Funny enough everyone makes it such a big secret making it hard to support women who have been through such. I’m looking at this from a Christian point of view where religious people have made it such an abomination that anyone faced with the reality feels such an outcast, some women choose to commit suicide, that’s how deep the trauma can go. I consulted with a women’s clinic in Cape Town called Marie Stopes, and although they were not at liberty to discuss specifics with me, they shed a lot of light by sharing their experiences counselling and performing safe abortions.
Having read TD Jakes’ book, woman thou art loosed and been helped by it in several areas of my life, I found it a fitting title to address Tendai’s dilemma. I will be writing more about issues that women face and hoping that they will turn into healing materials. If Tyler Perry can address real issues at the scale that he has, hello 🙂
It is so easy for men especially to judge women that abort their pregnancies and yet they are major key points in many women’s decisions to do so. I sincerely hope that the short story series has shed some light on possible situations that lead to the act.
Note to men who have asked their partners to have an abortion:
Please be more understanding and loving towards your partners. Think about what the procedure will do to them as a person. There’s an unofficial statement that says after and abortion, it’s extremely rare for a couple to stay together. They’ll be a lot of resentment directed your way. Any man that has asked a woman to abort or been a factor in a woman aborting, please make it your responsibility to make sure the lady gets some sort of closure on the issue. Please unless it’s a mutual decision and there is absolutely no other way, don’t let this happen. Let’s condomise if abstinence is out of the question.
Note to women who have aborted:
There is grace enough in the Lord Jesus to release you from inner turmoil and torment. Christ has forgiven you and the most difficult part is forgiving yourself but you need to. Don’t hold on to hurts that are no longer yours. Acknowledge your mistakes and move on and be wiser. Life is a journey and you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t make your fair share of mistakes. Ask God to turn your nightmare into something less sinister. Condomise if you must have sex and abstinence is proving difficult. Tendai was faced with an abortion, it could have been an STD or HIV, and now how do you solve that? There is a reason why the bible text asks us not to fornicate, there is so much that can traumatise the soul by having sex outside of a secure (marriage) relationship. Rather lose your man within a month by refusing to sleep with him or refusing to not use a condom rather than losing him anyway – because that’s what happens with such men – in a few years because you’ve now made an even bigger mistake. Please choose to be wise, you don’t have to do everything a man asks you to do, learn to have a mind. If you can’t protect yourself how will you protect your family? Isn’t it how some women end up allowing their men to rape their children just so they can keep them? Please, develop backbones and groom yourselves to be women worthy of being called wives and mothers one day. Develop backbones that will allow you to choose the ministry of being single if you so desire, not because you’re bitter or have no choice but because it is what you want. Again I will say, there is grace enough – a saint is just a sinner who fell down but got up, not once not twice, but many times. Be characterised by getting up and not by falling down and staying there. Be blessed.
Gugu.
Pickled plum 