Penga udzoke is a shona concept that literally translated says go wild and come
back. What it means and how it comes into play is in relationships where the male partner has gone astray and the female patiently waits for him to finish up and renew his interest in her and their relationship.
In a society that has the highest literacy rate inAfrica, it absolutely boggles my mind how women that can read and understand information in English, Shona and Ndebele, and are bombarded by campaigns from HIV/AIDS activists can go ahead and be so reckless with their lives, their health. I’m talking about Zimbabwean women who are very much aware that their partners are dipping into other women’s crusty honey pots and bringing that crusty nastiness home. These are women who take pride in that their men will always come home no matter who they’re messing with. These are women who think the emotional abuse that replaces their partner’s love is part of their lot as a woman. They think they’re being virtuous, exercising patience on a man that puts their lives at risk. Some even believe they will not contract any disease the husband comes home with. One woman asked me a question she felt was valid, ‘How do you ask your husband to use a condom? It’s unheard of, God will protect me’. I was floored, really?
Did anyone explain what a misogynist is to these women? It is someone that hates females, in my opinion, any man that uses women for his own sexual gratification with no regard for the ‘butterfly effect’ it has, hates women. Did anyone not teach these women to discern and allow actions to speak for themselves? Surely a rapist is demonstrating his hatred for the woman by doing to her what he pleases with no regard to her feelings, dignity or well being, what’s the difference? You’d think they were cursed; penga udzoke my foot. If you’re the type of woman that absolutely thinks she needs a man, there are plenty of good men that are looking for good women. What I find sad though is that some of these women are mothers. Your children need you strong and healthy and they need to be your priority, not a man that has more love for his pipi than he does for his family.
This tendency of women relying heavily on men for economic reasons smacks
of lethargy and is distasteful. It makes you a victim because you’re consistently at the mercy of someone that has no regard for you. As a woman if you empower yourself, then it’s easier for you to say no to HIV. If husband feels he needs STDs and HIV, by all means let him go ahead, in most cases there’s nothing you can do to stop him, but you as a woman, as a nurturer, as a guardian angel for your babies, it’s the time for you to get your guard up, get your sword out and protect the sanctity of your total wellbeing and that of your children.
When God cursed the woman in Genesis (Genesis 3v16) and said her desire shall be for her husband, he also made provision through Jesus who redeemed us by taking that curse (Galatians 3v13). The excuse that it is in women’s nature to put up with that sort of abuse does not hold water and is a failure to engage the empowerment Jesus gave us. How do you allow another person to shit on your bed and wipe himself on your crisp white sheets? Worse for him to eat someone else’s shit and come vomit it on your bed and you lap it up with your eyes open and a smile on your face. Sies man ladies, it’s not cute to have a man for show and we see you deteriorate because you refuse to remove the ring that’s laced with disease. Penga udzoke is a gateway for HIV/AIDS, you’re crazy to expect a man not to take advantage when you’ve given him carte blanche. Vuka! Muka! Wake up!